InfoGuide4Parents.com

There has been a lot of talk about surrogacy these days. Many people, worldwide, who have not had any real need to explore surrogacy might be confused about exactly what is done in order for the surrogate mother to become pregnant. It is common that outsiders think that some sort of “hanky panky” goes on between the intended father and the surrogate mother.

I’ve been a surrogate mother twice, and each time, both my husband and myself have been very vocal about it towards our friends, neighbors and co-workers. Though no one has ever said anything to me personally, my husband has been asked point blank if he had to “share” me with another man in order for the surrogacy to work.

Making the decision to find a surrogate mother is not an easy one, both emotionally and financially. By the time a typical infertile couple comes to the conclusion that surrogacy might be the best way to grow their family, they have already spent countless amounts of money on various infertility treatments. And surrogacy is the most expensive infertility treatment of them all!

A typical gestational surrogacy can run anywhere from $30,000 on the low end, to upwards of $100,000+. In addition to the surrogate’s compensation, intended parents need to account for clinic fees, medications, attorney fees, agency fees, maternity care, travel expenses and any other expense that occurs in a pregnancy.

It seems that everywhere you look nowadays, someone is involved in surrogacy. Whether it is an episode of your favorite TV program, a box-office movie, a real-life celebrity, or a co-worker, surrogacy is everywhere.

With all this talk, its natural that many women would like to get involved and become a surrogate mother themselves. So what are the age qualifications?

Before we talk about how old a surrogate mother needs to be, it is important to clear up one important issue. Every woman who considers surrogacy must have given birth to at least one child without complications. If she has never had children of her own, a woman is under no circumstances eligible to become a surrogate mother.

My potential surrogate mothers and their intended parents are attracted by the idea that Medicaid, or other federal programs, can assist with the costs of the surrogate mother’s pregnancy and the birth of the surrogate baby. Maternity health insurance can be quite expensive and this is a way to trim thousands of dollars away from the cost of surrogacy which can be used for other expenses, including the surrogate’s compensation.

So that begs the question: if a surrogate mother financially qualifies for government assistance, should that be used to help cover the costs of a surrogacy? The answer is absolutely NO. Under no circumstances should federal assistance be used to fund a surrogacy.

Deciding to become a surrogate mother is a very noble, selfless thing to do. The fact that a surrogate is willing to sacrifice her body, her emotions, and her time, and that her family is willing to sacrifice as well is a wonderful gift for her intended parents.

But a surrogate who decides to help another family before completing her own may find herself in a position that would require her to need a surrogate mother herself. A surrogate mother should always be done creating her own family before she considers helping someone else.